Image by caribb via Flickr
This is one of the most hilarious airline jokes floating around these days. Enjoy!

Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir. May I see your ticket?
Passenger: Sure.
Attendant: You’re in seat 12B. That will be $5, please!
Passenger: What for?
Attendant: For telling you where to sit.
Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.
Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat locator fee of $5. It’s the airline’s new policy.
Passenger: That’s the craziest thing I ever heard. I won’t pay it.
Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not?
Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I’ll pay. But the airline is going to hear about this.
Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy.Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you?
Passenger: That would be swell, thanks.
Attendant: No problem. Up we go, and done! That will be $10, please.
Passenger:  What?
Attendant: The airline now charges a $10 carry-on assistance fee.
Passenger: This is extortion. I won’t stand for it.
Attendant: Actually, you’re right, you can’t stand. You need to sit, And fasten your …

Two videos. 8 minutes each. Guaranteed goosebumps.

How about starting your Sunday rolling on the floor, laughing hard? Here are two videos right out of the classic comedy archives. George Carlin delivers a hilarious stand-up comedy act, shredding into bits the airline lingo that totally doesn’t make sense (you’ll realize after watching the videos).

The videos contain some profanities, and may not be suitable for watching at work (duh! that’s why you gotta watch it on a Sunday). Time to LOL (laugh out loud, for the unaware :p).

Originally Published on Tuesday May 27, 2008, by Steve Benson
There have also been hilarious responses to the airlines finding new ways to make money. Here’s what appeared in The Onion:
What new revenue streams are the other airlines implementing?

United—$25 seatbelt rental fee for passengers who didn’t bring their own
Midwest—$35 to sit in the passenger compartment
JetBlue—New fee structure for wait times on runway: $150 for under 2 hours, $75 for under 4 hours, etc.
Frontier Airlines—$20 penalty if passenger is not wearing coonskin cap
Continental—$100 reduced-fare tickets for standing-room-only passengers
Southwest—Ten bucks to touch the captain
Virgin—$30 fee for booking a flight with another carrier
Delta—$50 to chip in for gas